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Last week I had the luxury of being able to take the whole god dam week off, and what a week of luxury it was. I saw 4 films and only got the trashy taste of disappointment in my mouth the once. These aren’t bad stats at all considering what passes for cinematic excellence these dire days. I shall give you a very quick round up of said moving pictures;

“Imagine a world where everything is cool”

First off, on Monday morning I entered the realm of Quentin Tarantino’s film geek coolness. He did not disappoint but by the same token I was not blown away or amazed. In my humble opinionated opinion his films are about other films and cool stuff said between two cool people while doing something unexpected or just way cool. “Inglourious Basterds” is a film title from another film of a similar name. In it we have many cool scenes or set pieces filled with over acting scene stealing actors and referential ‘in the know’ movie posters. This film was like ‘Pulp Fiction’ but set during WWII. This film was worth the money and possibly the soundtrack too but he has done this before. When are we gonna get another ‘Jackie Brown’? His films are eye candy heavy but protein light.

Straight after Quentin’s Jewish romp I went and saw Stephen Soderbergh’s latest cinematic offering ‘The Girlfriend Experience’. Stephen has made many good films but I believe that he has been caught snoring of late. ‘Che part 1’ put me so soundly asleep that I must have slept through ‘Che part 2’ and ‘Ocean’s 13’ didn’t even enter the ‘I might see it if I have absolutely nothing better to do’ category which is where you will find “Ocean’s 12′ too. In this piece of celluloid tripe we are let into the daily routine of ex porn star turned actor Sasha Grey attempting to act. In all honesty she is not bad if a bit cold, odd for a porn star don’t you think? She plays a high class call girl supplying the girlfriend experience of the title. This is where not only do you get to root the chick but you also pay for the privilege of taking her shopping while you bitch about your business failings and your demanding wife. Is there anything new here?  The film could have been far more intelligent in its approach and content, instead, I fear, it just acted as a massive advertisement for downtown high class hookers for your  aspiring high earning yank wanker. This film was dull as dish water and did put me to sleep. I would suggest that you download Sasha’s latest XXX rated flesh piece instead, ‘Anatomy’, the script is better.

Next up I ventured to the mainstream cinemas for some sci-fi escapism only to be dealt a hand of modern day human issues. If the truth be told there aren’t that many sci-fi films that don’t deal with normal day to day human issues under the glossy veneer of inter stellar travel and subspace time singularities. ‘District 9’ is what I am referring to. I was not disappointed with this one and would recommend it to all. Some basic observations are…South African accents are very hard to take seriously, Nigerian scams are here for the foreseeable future, cinema humans are a pretty nasty bunch of people and big business will always want to fuck us up the ass as long as we give it the opportunity to.  I enjoyed this film even though the patrons of mocha colour behind me insisted on talking all the way through and the trendy film students to my left were intent on laughing at ‘scholarly insights’ in the film that, to be honest, weren’t fucking there.

The last film I had the pleasure of spending my hard earned Terra Nullis Dollars on was ‘Balibo’. This bleeding sore of Indonesian guilt and Australian  naiveté  has finally been made into a film by some sympathisers with cash and misconceived notions of civic duty and righteousness. The film itself is 20 minutes too long and technically very good but it does have its failings. The script left a bit to be desired and the few references to the political situation at the time are so evidently sign posted as to be eye-gauging in their effectiveness. Because I am not a born ‘skip’ Australian my views on this film will be slightly different to somebody from the middle class ‘burbs but let me just point out some realities of the world;

-journalists are not exempt from being shot at by soldiers from an invading army whether they work for channels 9 or 10, or because they are Australian. A war zone is a war zone no matter what. And chances are that if you are coloured ivory white and not the local hue you will stand out as somebody who is gonna be there to cause trouble or just get in the way.

-people in glasshouses shouldn’t throw stones.

“Ooh, how dare those nasty Indon’s invade poor old East Timor and take it over!”

Ahem, excuse me for one second, aren’t we all living in an invaded country right now? A country originally populated by people not too dissimilar to the poor East Timorese, who I might add had already endured 400 years of colonial rule at the hands of the Portuguese. And what’s more why did they get off scott free?

Kissinger and The Poms are mentioned but scratch your nose and you’ve missed it. Instead we were treated to a myriad of trekking scenes and really bad wig shots.

And on a lighter note…what was Carl Williams doing there? Does he have drug connections there or what?

This film can be summed up by the last scene in which LaPaglia’s character asserts his Australian citizenship whilst holding his arms out ‘Christ like’. He is then shot for his troubles and falls into a watery grave. Sentimental grandstanding tosh.

However there was some good news last week…my copy of The Fall which I ordered from England via Ebay two weeks ago for the princely sum of $21 including postage, finally arrived in my mail box. It will go straight to the pool room.

Other news in brief…Chris DeBurg  is still a plonker

hasn’t it been warm lately?

this is astro turf round the corner form my house

Astro Turf, the drought is real!

Astro Turf, the drought is for real!

And finally here is some advice from my local graffiti artists brought  to you by the talented Mr Dan and my camera;

it doesn't matter

it doesn't matter