- Have a long hot bath with a G&T, a joint and preferably no interruptions. Watching a DVD is also an option but I wouldn’t go for anything too immersive. With our drought conditions the guilt is significantly reduced when a downfall is in progress. If anybody hassles you about being un-water wise inform them with a strict authoritarian tone that you had an environmentally sensitive 4 minute bath as you do every second day of the week.
- Leave your laundry on the line. It won’t get any wetter.
- Let the cat in. As a rule they don’t like water and a wet moggy snuggling up to you in your dry warm bed is less than ideal.
- Close your car window which you left open the night before.
- Find the leak in the roof. As a waterproofer it is the best time to observe the problem and note the exact location of said leak.
- Paint a picture.
- Write a short story about de-fenestration and blood sucking alcoholic leeches from Frankston.
- Get your mail from the leaking mail box on the porch before your final warning from the gas company resembles the Scream.
- Don’t go to the drive-in. The wipers and de-mister detract from the overall enjoyment of the b grade film you are watching.
- Be glad that you ain’t in Ireland where it always rains.
- Don’t clean out your gutters. Two blokes here in Melbourne fell off their ladders while doing this.
- Sing a song. Yeah, you know the one.
- Go spend some money.
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#3 “Put in the dog and let out the cat” A lyric from a 1960’s hit by the Coasters, ‘Yakety-Yak’
#10 It dosen’t rain in Ireland it ‘Pisses’
#13 I ain’t got no money and no honey and no credit rating.
#2 Left my laundry in the dryer too long and now I can’t fit into my knickers.
I can take an environmentally and sensually sensitive sponge bath in a single liter of water in 4 minutes, just send the hot-young nurse over here.