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What a year for movies. I saw some good ones, I saw some bad ones and some I didn’t see at all but the dreams were good.

Underworld: Awakening. 

Can’t really remember to be honest but wasn’t much different to what came before.

The Grey.

I love Liam Neeson as the tough guy and the one scene that made an impression on me  here was the the way he talked the dying guy into accepting death. Very moving indeed.

Chronicle. 

Really enjoyed this one. It had a certain amount of realism in dealing with the whole superhero  ability scenario. Must watch again.

Rampart.

Woody Harrelson rocks, even when he is playing a mysoginistic bad cop. Nice realism but some unrealistic plot points.

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John Carter.

Shite. I’d rather sit and watch a Mars bar for three hours.

The Hunger Games.

Jennifer Lawrence is great. Toby Jones is always great and even Lenny Kravitz puts in a good turn but ultimately a bit young for my old blood.

A Royal Affair.

Should have had some Oscar nods but sadly this very enjoyable film with the fantastic Mads Mikkelson passed by most people in the dead of night.

Wrath of the Titans.

Pure shite. Even the mighty Liam Neeson couldn’t alter the fact this was even worse than the first instalment.

The Cabin in the woods.

I remember this film for two things, 1) While I was thoroughly enjoying the ending sequences with loud noises and things falling all around there was an earthquake in Melbourne that was tangible to the touch. We didn’t feel a thing in the cinema. 2) I really really enjoyed it. Must see again soon.

The Raven.

Could have and should have been better but was still enjoyable if my memory serves.

The Avengers.

Fun, fun and a few shit bits but still, Robert Downey Jr was worth it and they finally got The Incredible Hulk right.

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

I have a soft spot for old English farts going through the motions and also for India. So shoot me.

Dark Shadows.

More of the same from Tim Burton. Great cast. Heaps of potential. Enjoyable to a degree but what happened to the last act? Turned into tripe.

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Battleship.

Surely Peter (ice)Berg can helm a better film than this? And surely Liam Neeson can appear in  a better film than this. Total unbelievable shite.

Moonrise Kingdom.

More of the same from Wes Anderson and Bill Murray.  The Life Aquatic was light years better.

Snow White and the Huntsman.

Ain’t Charlize the hottest lady around?  Not much else to say about this so so adventure.

Piranha 3DD.

This is what illegal downloading was made for but how I lasted 20 minutes still worries me.

Prometheus.

Overhyped, over styled and where was the script? I reckon this oddity will look better once parts two and three are screened. This film improves once you do some fanboy research regarding all the obvious pointers to ancient eponymous mythology and Alien.

Safety Not Guaranteed.

All in all not bad. Nice idea.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.

I’ve seen worse but at least I watched them to the end. Some films should only be 82 minutes long. This went on and on and …

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World.

Wasn’t what I was expecting but can Steve Carell stop being Steve Carell.

Ted.

Not even insomnia could keep me awake for this one. Nice idea but didn’t quite make it.

The Amazing Spider-Man.

Man, this film was annoying. Was way to young for most of the people that saw it and that Garfield fellah was way too old for the role. He annoyed me trying to play a confused teenager. However, Emma Stone was delightful.

Savages.

Mr. Stone needs to de-stone himself and get back to the good stuff. Very disappointing.

The Dark Knight rises.

Had my eyes glued to the screen for the duration but needed a Prince soundtrack or something.

Iron Sky.

Great idea but didn’t move past GO.  Surely they could have done some work on the script and the casting and the plot instead of all the CGI.

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Killer Joe.

Matthew Mahogany gives a good turn but Friedkin…ah I don’t know what to say. It’s like he’s turned to filming plays. Watchable and enjoyable.

Searching for Sugar Man.

Brilliant! Touching and throughly enjoyable if not entirely accurate with the facts. Reminded me of Anvil.

Total Recall.

More shite. If it ain’t broke don’t shit on it.

The Bourne Legacy.

Can somebody hold the camera still for a moment. Watchable.

Cosmopolis.

I think I got up to make dinner after half an hour. Rubbish, surely one of Cronenberg’s worst offerings.

Lawless.

Didn’t like The Road, I don’t worship at the temple of all things Nick Cave and even if it was a true story so what? Even Tom Hardy couldn’t sway me on this one but still watchable if only for Guy Pearce’s outrageous hair parting.

The Master.

Damn, I wanted more from this. Like a point for starters. Looked great, sounded great but…

Dredd.

Sleep interrupted this film and I heard that The Raid was heaps better but at least it was umpteen degrees better than the God awful Sly Stallone steamer.

Looper.

I really do have a sleep problem sometimes but I’ll have to watch the end of this sometime sooner or very later. I do like Mr Gordon-Levitt but I think the film was trying to be too smart for its own good.

Taken 2.

Oh Liam, what have you done? Taken 1 was great but this is risible rubbish.

Argo.

Good, enjoyable but really was it that good? Ben Affleck has finally shaken that shit filled Pearl Harbour monkey off his back after a few good films.

Seven Psychopaths.

Enjoyable but didn’t leave me with any after taste. Sam Rockwell is always good but methinks Mr McDonagh pissed on the toilet seat with this one. He needs to put a ping pong ball in the bowl before he shoots again. And who wasn’t in it? Should have been heaps better. I met Mr McDonagh once in Tokyo…if only I’d known then what I know now.

Holy Motors.

Oh Christ! I wanted brilliance and got it but I also got annoying artsy what the fuck rubbish too. Needed some severe editing. David Lynch is way better at this type of thing.

Cloud Atlas. 

I’m partial to fantasy and Cloud Atlas too. Will re-watch again soon.

Skyfall.

A better Bond flick than its predecessor but I think it lacked a bit of glamour and class. Great performances and such a long way away from those awful Die Another Day days. Sometimes I thing Daniel Craig would prefer to eat his martini rather than drink it.

Silver Linings Playbook.

Really, really enjoyed this film. Possibly one of the years best. Ms Lawrence is great opposite Bradley C., and De Niro really should just do low budget films from now on. His turn in The Killer Elite was embarrassing.

The Life of Pi.

I loved the 3-D, story, mouthfeel and general vibe of this film plus there was French India as well. The tiger was fantastic. I wish my moggy was a little Richard Parker.

richard parker

Killing Them Softly.

Ah, mmmm, you know. Nice idea, Brad is good but kinda drifted after a while. Great idea and heaps of metaphors and loaded  imagery, it could have been worse but still good.

The Hobbit.

Why does it have to be three films long? I still enjoyed it but…..come on…have I gotta wait another two years to see the ending of a book that I could read in a weekend?

Django Unchained.

Quentin’s films are really just a whole load of cool scenes stitched together with some cool retro music and seasoned with geeky knowing nods and references. If you’ve seen one(apart from Jackie Brown) then you’ve pretty much seen them all. Oh, and he can’t act, I’ve seen more convincing performances from politicians that I detest.

Bernie.

This was good. Normally I don’t have too much time for Jack Black doing his annoying schtick but thankfully he left that in the bathroom for this film and turned out a great performance. And a true story too.

Snowtown.

They call this Misery Porn. I’d have to agree. Well made misery porn but still not what I’d like to watch of an evening.

Once upon a time in Anatolia.

Slow, beautiful, thoughtful, vague.  This film had more decent script in 20 minutes than most of Hollywood.

The Artist.

Perfectly enjoyable and nicely layered but not the best of the year that it qualified for Oscar contention.

Shame.

Din’t make it through this one either. My couch has an awful lot to answer for. Worth a watch but not with your parents.

There’s a whole lotta celluloid I didn’t see but not bad for a start.

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