Outstanding opportunity for a leading systems solutions expert to hit the ground running in this once in a lifetime opportunity to finalize your stellar career path.
As an equal opportunity employer we believe in giving males, females and transgender people of all creeds, races and sects a level playing field on which to showcase their exceptional public manipulation skills.
Previous experience in this position is not required as it is a one off situation and once you’ve acquitted yourself of your responsibilities and have achieved and surpassed key performance criteria the role will become redundant, possibility due to the intervention by threatened hostile extraneous forces.
Your goals in this exciting and fulfilling position are as follows:
- Elimination of world debt.
- Elimination of world poverty.
- Elimination of infant mortality.
- Elimination and/or replacement of the capitalist machine.
- Elimination and/or replacement of the Corrupt Democratic System.
- Elimination of the Global Arms Trade.
- Elimination of GMO’s and HFCS.
- Implementation of environmentally sustainable work practices.
- Implementation of environmentally responsible food harvesting.
- Re-alignment of the currently perceived ‘meaning of life’.
- Abolition and extermination of organised evangelical religion.
- Abolition and extermination of reality TV shows.
- Castration of the ‘Media’.
- Elimination of racial segregation and profiling.
- Invention of clean renewable energy.
- Legalisation of recreational narcotics.
This once in a lifetime position comes with exciting remuneration benefits and extensive superannuation plans and rollover packages, not previously availed of by previously successful applicants.
As a messianic figure you will be responsible for recruiting your own world wide support staff and security detail.
Applicant must be dynamic and be able to adapt relevant strategies to achieve stated outcomes.
Please forward your completed application including proof of competency, verifiable references, statement of beliefs and any astrological evidence supporting your experience and lineage to the letters page of your national newspaper or upload a video to YouTube or a status update to Facebook.
This position is guaranteed to make your friends zealous and your enemies envious of your new found power.
The deadline for applications is five minutes to doomsday.